Funny Pick Up Lines

I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you. I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes. If beauty were time, you'd be eternity. If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer. Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon. You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire. If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me. Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine. You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket? Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart. Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you. Be unique and different, say yes. Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes. Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them. Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happen once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime. You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line. You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection! If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand. If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you. You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged! I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen Smoking is hazardous to your health... and baby, you're killing me! There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look. Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off? When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see! I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you. Are you an interior decorator? When i saw you the room became beautiful. There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it. Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT! You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room. Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world! You look beautiful today, just like every other day. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW! If you were a booger I'd pick you first. Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you. Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it's just a sparkle. If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question? If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib. Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart. Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name? I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down. I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet. Do you have the time? [Tells you the time] No, the time to write down my number? Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel? Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Shazaam!"? Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES! I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours? Hello are you married? [Yes] Well I didn't hear you say "happily". You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts. Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you? Hello how are you? [Fine] Hey, I didn't ask you how you looked! Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them. How was heaven when you left it? Did you fart, cause you blew me away. I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out? Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here. I didn't know that angels could fly so low! There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you. You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you! Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get. Is your name "swiffer"? 'Cause you just swept me off my feet. Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" (What?) "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight. Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary? Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!